She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
