Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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