we're blogging at a bar
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need a beard to bite.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
