So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
