i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
