We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
