the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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