it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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