You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
