she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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