so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
