i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize