These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
