I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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