Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
