she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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