happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
