Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
