i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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