Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
