You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You ruined the universe
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
