His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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