his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
