Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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