my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
