she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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