Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
