i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
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I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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