Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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