so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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