just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize