I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
