Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
