I need help removing her.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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