I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
