Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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