I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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