There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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