"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
