you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
