About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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