let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
