It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
