More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
