To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
