I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
