Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Pooping to opera.
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