he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
