Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
