my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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