just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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