Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
