A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
