I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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