i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
