I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
