I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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