3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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