What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
