i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
