new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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