She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
