found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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