He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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