He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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