wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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