I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
