Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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