This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
