Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm bleeding and have questions
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
